You know, it feels so weird being on this website anymore. I used to remember a time when I'd get on everyday no matter what. Of course, I also remember that about many things. In my heart, I always thought of myself as a gamer...but it's been so long since I've been to an arcade that if I get a chance, I pass up going there. Well, every now and then, I do go for some stress relief but even then, it doesn't always feel right. Heh, probably not a lot of guys would admit this, but I'd play DDR and I'd play for a long time. I used to love playing that game so much since I met some interesting people through it. I don't think any real friendships came out of it, but I didn't mind because I was in my element then. I could make do with familiar faces. Lately, I haven't wanted to do anything that the old me would do. It's been so long since I've been on msn im. Well, it's not like I can get on anymore, but I still get a feeling I should. I think it's been over two years since my webtv addy got erased. It had all my friend's addies on there. I wish I had written them down and kept up with them. I wonder how they are....
Have you ever felt like you didn't have a dream for your life? I kinda feel that way today on my b-day. I've always had a wait and see attitude about the future. I may say I feel this way now, but I do remember a few dreams from before. One of them was to stay fit by doing DDR, stretching exercises and light strength training. With my will power, it didn't go so well. I guess that's why gyms are popular with people....but even then, this is something I wanna do myself. About a week ago or so, my gf asked me to help her get some spools from down the road. These spools look like round tables. They carry these big wires that the electric or phone company use. I don't know which. Anyway, they say the spools weigh about 500 lbs. without the steel wires on them. I was able to lift one onto its side, then roll it uphill to the lawn. It took my whole body's strength to even get it up. I don't think the spools weigh 500 lbs. though. They probably weigh a lot, but not 500lbs. I mean, I did lift them....even if it was only with every last ounce of my strength. lol, you can imagine how tired I was after just one spool....but there were four spools in total. Two of them weren't very sturdy, so they were easier to get up...but the other two seemed like they weighed too much. Also, one of them was stuck in this hole on the side of the hill. That one took about 20 minutes to even figure out how to move. lol. Well, I did all this work for my gf, but her brother accidentally gave away one of the sturdier spools, so some of that hard work was for nothing. Anyway, while I was doing all this, I could only think that I was too weak now. I've never wanted to be a guy with overwhelming muscles, but I did want to be a guy with toned muscles. Maybe after writing all this down, I'll be able to concentrate and do what I think I need to do. Well, who knows about that.